Posted by: wolferiver | September 29, 2013

What Some Guy On The Internet Said Once

A couple of years ago, when the news of Amy Winehouse’s suicide broke, here’s what BigHank53 had to say.

From the outside, it’s difficult to discern the difference between the splashing about in the kiddie-pool of angst and the struggles of someone losing a water polo match with oblivion. It can be hard to tell the difference from the inside, too, and many’s the person who thought they had a teensy-weensy substance abuse problem instead discovered they had a great big tired-of-living problem. Suicidal impulses don’t show up on the good days; they make their appearance after you’ve had a fight with your partner and they stormed out yesterday and they haven’t called and your job sucks and there’s nothing to distract you on TV and you’re coming down with a cold and you’re fat and you’re staring at your fat, worthless, useless face in the bathroom mirror and that little voice in your head says, in its most reasonable tone, There’s a gun* upstairs.

I do hope that Ms Winehouse has found the peace that eluded her in life.  

*The rope, the pills, the rooftop, the razor blade, the drain cleaner, the torn-up sheet.

I have no idea who BigHank53 is, but I thought what he said was insightful enough to write it down in my little notebook. It sounds like he might know a thing or two about suicidal thoughts.

Today I was thumbing through my notebook and found it, and it struck me again as a useful insight. Whenever I stumble upon this sort of gem, I think it makes up for all the nasty, miserable, ignorant, trollish things that one mostly reads on the internet. It is sometimes worth pointing that not everything you read on the internet is “teh stupids”. 



  1. Very true. Although suicide is usually portrayed as a “tragic, foolish, impulsive mistake” — and perhaps it often is — the act itself is as personal as anything can be, and makes one hell of a statement. Unfortunately, it also makes all those who knew the suddenly deceased miserable for a long time to come… but sometimes a person has just had enough, and wants nothing more than to get off the merry-go-round. In the end, it’s their call, and who are we to judge?

    Thanks for sharing BigHank’s insights. Hope all is well with you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: