Posted by: wolferiver | July 9, 2007

Movies I’ve Walked Out On

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The Chicago Tribune ‘Talking Pictures’ blogger has written a post about movies he’s walked out on, and movies that he wished he had walked out on. He’s invited comments, but the list is extremely long, and it looks like too many are from juveniles who can only write in “text-ese”, so I won’t wade through them. However, it does sound like a fun exercise to engage in. I haven’t walked out on many movies in my life, but there are a few. And there’s a couple that I wish I had walked out on, but sat through to the bitter end. Here’s my list:

  1. A Clockwork Orange. I’ve now come to realize that I mostly don’t care for Kubrik’s films (except for 2001, which is on my top ten list). His films seem to me to be rather misanthropic, which is a viewpoint that couldn’t be further from my own. At the time, however, which was in the late seventies on a college campus, I had little idea of what to make of Kubrick’s work, and having read so many critical reviews praising it, I thought I ought to see it. I ended up being unable to take the violence in it — sure, it was a laughable amount by today’s standards — and walking out before the end. It was probably due more to the menacing nature of the violence, rather than the actual bloodshed. I’ve certainly sat through many more bloody and violent movies without the least qualm. Later, I read the book that it was based on, by Anthony Burgess, and found that much easier to take.
  2. Zardoz. Hey, scifi, Sean Connery AND Charlotte Rampling! How could it possibly go wrong? It’s hard to describe just how bad this movie is. It is most likely the very worst scifi movie ever made that starred a major motion picture star. Period. Sometimes with a bad movie you can still sit back and enjoy the eye candy. Not with this one. It is so bad, that not even eye candy can mitigate its badness. Worse even than Quintet, which starred Paul Newman.
  3. Club Paradise. Robin Williams and Peter O’Toole! What could possibly go wrong? Man, this is the movie that taught me to pay closer attention to critics BEFORE venturing into the movie theater.
  4. Jurrassic Park. By the end I was so tired of being scared silly by dinosaurs hopping out of kitchen cupboards, that I couldn’t take it anymore.
  5. Boiling Point. After about 20 minutes, my date and I looked at each other, and agreed that this was a total waste of our time.

The next two are ones that I wish I had walked out on.

  • I thought Crying Game was just dumb, and not worth all the fuss that was made about it at the time.
  • How The Grinch Stole Christmas was too long by half. It did not improve on the original television cartoon special, or the book. I found myself staring at all the costume details, and the cool sets and props just so I would have something halfway interesting to engage in. I would’ve walked out by my date wanted to stay.
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